Winter 2007 Alumnae Quarterly Web Extra

Friends Forever?

Alumnae Who Never Let Go of the Laurel Chain

By Maile Martínez ’03

“One-forth of all Americans report that they have nobody to talk to about ‘important matters,’” reported Duke sociologist Lynn Smith-Lovin in her recent study, “Social Isolation in America.” It’s likely that most MHC alumnae would not count themselves among this lonesome quarter of the population. Many Mount Holyoke women, for whom life-long friendships were forged during their days in South Hadley, keep in touch with alumnae friends through phone calls, letters, or e-mails, reconnect at reunions and through personal visits, thus keeping the laurel chain connected through the years. Here are more alumnae stories about their MHC friendships.

* Asha Abeyasekera-Van Dort ’98 says that her friendship with Shanthi Divakaran ’98 “impacted [her] life deeply.” She goes on, “despite the fact that we live on two separate continents (North America and Asia), she has come to Sri Lanka at two crucial times in my life: (a) when I was going through a transformative period where I was radically rethinking my career trajectory and needed support on many spheres, and (b) when I was pregnant for the first time. I believe her presence, advice, etc. acted as the catalyst to my finally summoning the courage to make difficult decisions. Now, three years later, I can truly say I am happy with my life and career. Also, despite expensive call rates, she is the first person I would go to for advice, validation, and general support.”

* Martha Diefendorf ’72 says, “In a nutshell, a group of us who were in the same dorm our first year—back in 1968—continued to live together for all four years at college. Friendships were kept, but since we lived scattered across the country and Europe and had families to raise, we didn't get together [often]—maybe just at our tenth and twenty-fifth reunions—but kept in touch via annual holiday cards. Now that our kids are grown, for the past ten or so years we have gotten together for a long weekend every other summer—sometimes with spouses, sometimes just the MHC group. We have strong ties to each other thanks to Mount Holyoke.”

* Former roommates Leise Jones ’01 and Molly Holder ’02 bonded immediately when they moved in together in South Rockefeller. Jones gives this update: “We have remained best friends for the last six years, living thousands of miles apart from each other, seeing each other through breakups, family problems, car accidents, career changes, and every other situation that one encounters in those first years after college. We have never had a fight or disagreement about anything, and she remains the one person who I can count on in the whole world to always be there when I need her.”

* A rather unconventional friendship story comes from Amy Glynn Greacen ’92, who treasures the friendship she formed with her English professor. “Of all the friends I ever made at Mount Holyoke, my absolute most cherished one is with Mary Jo Salter, and I think it’s a testament to how special MHC really is that I have this relationship in my life, stronger than ever fifteen years after I graduated. Almost no one I know who attended another college can say they enjoy above-and-beyond relationships with former teachers, yet I am not the only MHC grad I know of who counts a professor among her close friends. She’s been an incredible influence on my writing, my career, and more importantly, a tremendous friend to me.”

* From Diane Howland McIntyre ’65 comes this account of the friendship that arose from her “arranged marriage” with roommate Joanne Griffith Domingue ’65: “A forty-five-year friendship can result from that little roommate questionnaire that asked if you slept with windows open or closed, and do you smoke. Jo was from the West (California); Di was from the East (Massachusetts). Jo married an Easterner from Massachusetts; Di married a Westerner from California. They’ve lived near each other for the past thirty years.”

*Ann Volpel ’91 says, “Jennifer Keller ’91 and I were first-year roommates in Abbey Hall. We lived in what most people would call a single room, with bunk beds and one of our closets out in the hallway. I vividly remember that first day when we moved in when I was looking at Jen’s collection of cassette tapes and noticed that she had a recording of a handbell concert from the previous summer. It turns out that both of us had been at that handbell festival at Bucknell University and had been part of the final concert. Among her collection of pictures from the event, Jen had a picture of my mother sitting in the bleachers. (The concert was held in the college gymnasium.) I’m sure it was no coincidence that the Mount Holyoke College staff put two handbell ringers together in the same dorm room. We joined the handbell choir on campus that fall and continued ringing through senior year.”

Jen and I have been best friends from that first day. We continued as roommates sophomore year. Although we took jobs and attended graduate school in different cities, we were fortunate to become roommates again for three years in Baltimore, Maryland, six years after graduation. While we no longer share the same home, we both continue to ring handbells in the same handbell choir. It’s a bit ironic that we ended up in Baltimore together. A couple years after we graduated, I was living in Virginia and she was living in New Jersey. It was our birthday month, so we decided to meet halfway and spend a Saturday together. We met in Baltimore and spent the day walking the city and seeing the sights. Walking up Charles Street, we noticed two elderly women walking together, laughing, and clearly enjoying each other’s company. We both agreed—someday that would be us. Who knew that we would both end up in Baltimore together?!

Jen has been my best friend since that fall of 1987. We have seen each other through life’s ups and downs. We have lived together, laughed together, cried together, vacationed together—and supported, as well as relied on each other for years. I don’t know what I would do without “my roomie.”

* Kira Huberfeld Estrade ’01 moved to Royan, France, to teach English after she graduated. Though she had wanted to live in a big city, she comments, “I think it’s better to end up in a small town because it’s easier to make friends.” She credits the “small town network” for most of her recent friendships, including her best friend—her husband, whom she met through mutual friends. Living in France, she does not get to see friends from MHC as often as she might like, though she has had visits from Jeyanthi Rajaraman ’01 and Rain Ross ’00. Her first child was born this summer, and she plans to travel to New England with her family next year. She hopes to catch up with MHC friends in the area then.

* Sylvia Marie Roldán ’00 lives in Hong Kong. As a U.S. Latina living in Asia, she has bonded with Alyssa Orrantia ’04, whom she met after graduating from MHC at the Latina Alumnae Conference. “We talk very often, [especially] about issues of being abroad and being internationally minded Latinas,” Roldán says. Being a coscribe also helps her stay close with her classmates, despite living in a different hemisphere from many of them. She has remained particularly close with Raquel Lloreda ’00, who cochaired La Unidad with her at MHC, and Jennifer Stalcup Mangrum ’00. Lloreda visited Roldán when the latter was living in China, and they traveled to Thailand together. They have also talked about having an improvised La Unidad reunion in Roldán’s new home in Hong Kong after a small reunion Lloreda’s home state of Texas. Roldán also commented on the impact of weddings on and off the MHC Campus, which have also helped keep the MHC ties strong. “The weddings I’ve gone to have had no less than fifteen MHC grads. from across the globe. It speaks to the power of an MHC friendship.”

Never forget that the truest measure of success, the purest passions, come always from within ourselves. — U.S. congresswoman Nita M. Lowey ’59; commencement address, 1994